Putting the Pieces Together

hello, stranger -

well that was a longer hiatus than I ever intended… don't worry, i'm still alive and kicking – although, if i'm to be honest there's been a lot more kicking than living.

it's been so long that i'm not really even sure where to start. i look back to February and think about all that's happened since then – most of it good, some of it bad, none of it great, and all of it too boring to really be anything other than necessary.

so it's been a rebuilding period – yet again. let the broken record theme music continue.  there must be something in the air though - seems to be something that’s going around, like there's this air of anticipation and dissatisfaction about things in general, as we all sit on this cosmic rock that keeps spinning round and round, and further and further off the rails.

what's to be expected though? i can't even watch the news anymore without feeling like i’m being filled with some sort of toxic stew of depression and outrage. i bet you feel the same way. in fact, i bet you could have the total opposite view i have on everything in the news, and it would still drive you crazy. no one's walking away happy, we're all bound to go nuts. seems like that's what the news is designed for these days.

my own personal brand of crazy has mostly things have revolved around work, lately – if that's the right word for it – and the process of retooling and redoing, and then burning out and then doing it all over again. i packed in a lot of that kind of bullshit into a few short months, i can at least give myself that.  and i managed to sneak in that road trip to California finally for some windshield therapy to chase away the burnout - now I'm back and the refresh has started to go stale and i’m nervous the burnout is about to start settling back in again.

but it’s not all bad, and i feel like i snuck away with a gem or two under the thinking cap - so instead of worrying about it i sit out here on the porch in the late afternoon, with a beer and writing to you.  it probably seems silly from the outside, but it’s what makes me happy right now - like reading a good book or driving with the windows down, underneath the stars on a warm summer night. the joys of being fully in the moment.

i need more of that my life. maybe we all do. as i write i'm watching four little kittens wrestle and tumble about underneath my patio table. they were born to their skittish mother, who's an alley cat that made a den underneath my side of the house. i didn't know she was pregnant until i got back from my trip, and then there they were, these four little fur balls, nosing their way out from underneath the bushes and exploring the world, one little burst of curiosity at a time.

so i've been putting out food and water, and keeping an eye out to make sure they're okay. i know I'll eventually have to call animal control to come get them vaxxed and neutered -  but they're young yet, and the idea of breaking up this little family is not something i'm willing to bring myself to consider just yet.

besides, they’re good company for these late afternoons when i feel like having the quiet, but not the loneliness. they're a helpful reminder to stay present to the current moment, and breathe easy as you do, because the reality is that's all you really got anyways. no doubt i'll be back to fretting and fidgeting about all of life's worries - both my own in the world - before the sun rises again to the east.

but as it sets out here in the West, i think i'll pour myself another beer and enjoy the view as it sinks behind the building across the street.  maybe i’ll even figure out something to do with the rest of the evening that makes me feel creative and productive and happy even, and sets the tone for a good week ahead - or at least the start of one…

i'm wishing the same for you, and i hope all has been well since last week touched base. i'll write again much sooner this time, i swear.

be good and talk soon.